at the time, I was taking the following meds:
- Lyrica - 150mg/day
- modafinil - 200mg/day
- rabeprazole sodium - 20mg/day
- Cymbalta - 90mg/day
- lithium citrate - 3tsp/day
- lamotrigine - 75mg/day
my medication rituals were so engrained into my days. in the morning I would get up, get coffee started, put all of my pills into a little bowl and mix up my lithium and juice. and then down the hatch with it all. bedtime was very similar, but with fewer pills.
the first day of the vacation was february 9. I dropped down to just taking the lithium and Cymbalta. I was down to 60mg of Cymbalta and 2tsp of lithium. it felt pretty awesome to not take all the other stuff. oh yeah, I also took the rabeprazole sodium until I was done with the psych meds.
things went pretty good during the wean down period. every 5-6 days I dropped out 30mg of Cymbalta and a tsp of lithium. as of february 19, I was med free! wheeeee!
now on feb. 19, we went out to the Hart House for dinner with my partner's dad, step-mom and an old family friend. it is a fancy-schmancy restaurant and it was a special occassion so I decided to have one drink. a tall CC&7. I didn't think much of it other than now that I was not taking a crap-load of psych meds, I could have a drink.
things were fine until I went to the washroom just prior to dessert. I finished up in the stall and went to wash my hands. all of a sudden my eyes felt like they were trying to vibrate out of my head, taking my stomach with them. I could barely stand, let alone walk back out to the table. I was starting to panic. I had suffered from vertigo before but this was so much more intense. I didn't want to holler for help and create a scene, so I just stumbled back into the stall and tried to focus on my breath. Katy had left her cell at home and I didn't have her dad or step-mom's numbers in my phone. (I do now.) after 3-4 minutes, I was finally able to stumble back to the table. I am sooooo glad I took my cane with me to the bathroom.
my dessert had arrived but there was no way I could eat it. all I could do was crack the window behind me and dip my napkin in some ice water to apply to the back of my neck. oh yeah, and panic a bit when I couldn't figure out how to loosen my tie. I was pretty much nauseas until morning, after taking 2 Gravol so I could sleep.
the next day, I was fine. according to facebook, I was "busy opening windows, making granola, drawing up floor plans for an updated office/art room and generally being astounded by her good mood avec sans medication." I really felt good. it was so nice! I felt like I was rediscovering my essence. like my personality was coming back. I felt more alive and playful. just good things, all around.
little did I know that this was the calm before the storm....
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